Failure

I’ve always heard that the biggest failure is not attempting at all. I have tried and failed at so many things I can’t even keep count. I am coming to realize that I keep doing this to myself on a constant basis. Weight loss, education, religion, and relationships.

My biggest down fall right now has got to be getting into shape and getting my GED. I have started and stopped both of these so many times it is ridiculous. Monday was my first day trying to get back into my workout routine. I swear I wish I had someone to shake the crap out of me and say “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING”! I have zero self confidence because of my weight. I need to lose at least 30 lbs. I know I can do it but I think my main issue is my diet. I dont really diet only because I know for a fact that I will fail. I am very choosy of my choices though. My husband doesnt like to eat healthy really so when I do the grocery shopping I always try and buy things that are healthy bt still taste great. Im actually pretty good at doing this but then theres the little sweet snacks that I get for all of us. Those are my weakness. I’m the type that if I dont have it I wont eat it but if its in the house I will. Its like I tell myself the quicker I make them disappear the faster I can get on track. SOOOO pathetic right! Recently I’ve done a lot of research on sugar and its addiction. I definitely have a sugar addiction. The funny part is is that I dont hardly eat anything with sugar. If I do its always something small, but that’s the thing sugar is just so incredibly bad for you whether your trying to lose weight or not. I wish I could find something that I could eat to make my brain believe that i’m satisfying my sugar craving without actually eating sugar.

I know a lot of people sit and say, ” oh just have a piece of fruit”, well I’ve tried that so many times but it doesnt help one bit. I do not like artificial sweeteners and will not use them. They are just as bad if not worse for you. I absolutely love fresh fruits and veggies but they still dont take care of that sugar craving. Its actually kind of embarrassing  to admit that I have a sugar addiction but its the truth. It could be worse I guess but, I still dont like that something has a hold over me like this. Everytime I start to do good and eat really healthy no junk what so ever, I fail miserably. Weekends are extremely hard for me especially since my husband is home and he usually goes out to get us all lunch. I try not to tell him when I’ve started over one because when I fail I dont want him to know and two because he makes it very hard for me to stay on track. Yes I know its not his job to make sure that I do but some help would be nice.

I’m sure most of you will say that I just lack determination, and self control which is true to an extent. I can’t blame anyone but myself for my failures. Its up to me to push through and move forward in the right direction. I really wish that I had a nutritionist or someone to lay this stuff out in layman’s terms so I know exactly what I can and cannot eat. I know healthy eating is 80% of weight loss but when you dont know exactly what truly is healthy and what isnt its like a never ending roller coaster. Just wish this process could be somewhat easier so maybe just once I dont fail and I can actually start to get real results!

Advertisements

One thought on “Failure

  1. jayhill3940 says:

    Realizing is apart of seeing what needs to be work on. On an everyday basics we fail or catch a flat so to speak. Our part is just to get out fix the tire n keep rolling. It’s never easy! If life and certain situations were easy we would have it made or never know what failure means to go and grow. Truth be told we grow in failures. It shapes us and molds us to be something better n great.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s